Spelling out the wrong words at the wrong time can end the friendship. It can also make the person we are talking to feel insulted or resentful because we will not know how to find motivation. Particularly on subjects such as our appearance and related expectations – we should remain cautious. This is a sensitive area, and we are more susceptible to it than we admit.
What YOU CAN NOT tell a person is trying to lose weight?
Those who keep on fighting for fewer pounds deserve special support. They are fighting a tough battle with themselves and their weaknesses. It is an act of courage to make such a decision, and persevering in a decision requires determination and persistence. Regardless of their motivation (social expectations, health, ambitions for their appearance), it is worth supporting them in this process, because achieving the goal will show them that they can. Such success can translate into other areas of life – after all, self-confidence helps in every other area. Understanding and acceptance for a person in the process of losing weight are precious. How can one become such a person? Contrary to appearances, it doesn’t take much. All we have to do is to give up on the remarks that we sometimes make unintentionally, as they can cause harm to another person.
ARE YOU SLIMMING DOWN? I CAN’T SEE IT
A person trying to lose weight may be at the beginning of his or her journey, or you may see them too often to see the first effects. With this remark, we also stress that at a given moment in time, their weight is not right – and yet she knows this very well if she has taken up the fight. Instead, we should notice slight changes and motivate if there are no results.
HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU PLAN TO LOSE?
It is better to avoid numbers during the weight loss process. Do not ask how much weight someone has lost, how much more is going to drop, how much has already gone, and what they would like to achieve. Appreciate the effects without trying to measure them with a scale. The question might suggest one thing – great, you did it, but don’t tell me that’s it. It would be enough to say it is excellent and you congratulate – then she will finally accept herself, and there will be plenty of motivation for her to continue.
YOU PROBABLY WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEP THE GUYS AWAY!
Can you hear how it sounds? This is one of the compliments which may become fatal to a friendship. There may be a good reason for this. The innocent statement that is supposed to appreciate the transformation and improve its mood actually strikes at the most sensitive point – you suggest that not long ago she looked terrible and you are not surprised that no man wanted to look at her. It is as if bigger ladies are doomed to eternal loneliness, which of course is not true.
ARE YOU SURE EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL?
If nothing alarming is happening, do not suggest to the person going through the weight loss process that it may have negative consequences for their health. If he/she is on a diet and exercising, weight loss is perfectly natural. Suggesting that she has lost control of herself, and nothing good will come out of it may change her attitude to the process. Instead of enjoying the improvement of her figure, she may lose her motivation.